One-minute. That’s literally the amount of time it took for me to become annoyed by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows. Opening with some of the most unfunny and abrasive jokes I’ve heard in quite some time as the half-shelled heroes jump and soar across the rooftops of New York- Squirrel formation? Why would we be doing a squirrel formation?” – I was shocked to see how quickly the film went from bad to worse.
Just moments later, we catch up with the intrepid news reporter April O’ Neil who is investigating a scientist’s connection with the supervillain, Shredder. However, because the character is played by Megan Fox – and this is a Michael Bay production afterall – rather than use her journalistic intelligence and wit to get the information she needs, she instead resorts to dressing as a flirty school girl to get what she wants – a fantastic message to be sending out to young girls, right?!
All of the above takes place within the film’s first ten-minutes and, unfortunately, things don’t improve much over the following hour and a half. Its attempts at humour are painful to watch – the pinnacle of which comes when a mutant rhino farts in a mutant warthog’s face – and the cast are about as as charming as a nunchuck to the face – all I could keep thinking is Laura Linney deserves better than this.
Whilst the action sequences are surprisingly effective – a set piece that takes place in the skies and rivers of Brazil is at least entertaining – the rest of the film is one of the most irritatingly obnoxious of 2016 so far. Avoid it at all costs.
Image credit to http://www.impawards.com