Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2: Review

  

I’d luckily missed Paul Blart: Mall Cop, when it was released in the cinema. The same, unfortunately, can’t be said of its sequel, which sees Blart travel to Las Vegas for a ‘Mall cop convention’, where he runs into a groupy of art thieves. With his daughter being held hostage, Blart must run around a hotel, taking out the criminals one by one, using thier walkie talkie’s to find out their whereabouts. So basically it’s Die Hard, but if it were directed by the least imaginative two year old ever.

Starring Kevin James, easily one of the most irritating actors working in Hollywood today; Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, is so unfunny, and so dull, that it caused me to drift off and relive some of my most painful memories. The time my arm went through a plate of glass; the time were I had food poisoning, and couldn’t talk for a few days for all of the projectile vomiting; my monthly routine which sees my fiancée gleefully take to my unkempt eyebrows with tweezers; these are all things that I’d gladly go through again, if it meant not having to see Paul Blart 2 (well, perhaps not the glass thing). 

Five minutes in, I found myself getting so irritated by the film, that my head felt like somebody was proding my brain with tiny little pins; and things just got worse from there. Stealing all their jokes from a joke book that’s far out of date, we get unoriginal gags such as ‘man running into glass’, and ‘man gets attacked by bird’. When it isn’t beIng original, it’s just being plain old dumb, and not in an irreverent SpongeBob SquarePants way, but just in a offensively stupid way. Why this sequel exists is beyond me, and I won’t be checking out the original anytime soon. Even if it were exciting, or interesting, I could at least forgive its stupidity; but it’s so boring that a child in the audience kept crying continuously. I’m right there with you kid. 

Image credit to http://www.impawards.com

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One comment

  1. You really did yourself a favor by not seeing the first one. We just watched and reviewed it with great disdain, and it sounds like this isn’t much better. Not looking forward to watching this, even for the sake of critiquing.

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