Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey?!, is as atrocious as its subtitle would suggest. Silly and self indulgent, it would appear that the donkey in question is lost amongst the long winded and overly complicated plot that is stretched out way too long at just shy of two hours. Two hours of adults walking into objects and little children bursting into annoying song and dance as the plot becomes increasingly more absurd. I say plot, the film feels more like it was pitched by a member of it’s young target audience. You have everybody’s favourite leading man, Martin Clunes, playing a teacher who is due to get married in New York but gets kicked in the head by a donkey and loses his memory; so he and an annoying child-like teacher have to travel across the country and learn all about Christmas in the hope of it brining back his memory. Oh, and then they have to enter a flash mob competition to win a trip to New York so they can get to the wedding and stop the slimey flash mob super-star from putting the moves on the bride to be. Makes perfect sense right?
In truth, it is easy to be tough on a film like this which does play to a very young audience, but that is no excuse for ignoring the older audience completely. It isn’t without its moments of charm as the children are genuinely cute and had the film been forty minutes shorter with a more contained story, then it would have perhaps been a lot more successful. Unfortunately Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey?! is physically painful to the point of headache inducing and so saccharin that watching it alone will rot your teeth. The worse thing though is that it quite clearly belongs on television and when I say television I mean children’s television at best. It’s actually quite offensive that the film makers had no problem charging people to watch this and they should be ashamed of themselves on many different levels.
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